Sunshowers are wonderful.

Five Things  I’ve Recently Remembered That I Had Forgotten About

1. My friend Tom falling out  of a tree and breaking his foot while he was drunk. He brought the offending branch back to my flat, where it remained for the whole of 2004. (Instead of going to the hospital, he sat on the bench in the kitchen drinking more alcohol while wearing my Richmond slippers)

2. When I was maybe ten my brother, the kid across the street and I crumbled up about a million silver birch seed pods into a bucket, the ones that look like this:

I’m not sure what shenanigans were intended with the bucket of seeds, but I’m pretty sure it sat there for about six months before Mum gave up and tipped it out.

3.  Hiding from one of our friends girlfriends that we didn’t like. I was about 20.

4. At the time of the first Gulf War, someone invented a very peculiar game where you lept off a cement block on the beach, and depending on where you landed you had either bombed Iraq, Kuwait, Iran or America. Such was our grasp on international affairs at the age of seven.

5 . The first time I ever saw Richmond play football was in 1997 at York Park. I went with my Dad and my friend Nyssa and it poured with rain all day. (And Richmond lost. I didn’t see Richmond actually win a game until 2001).

I don’t know what has made me so nostalgic this week, but at some point or another each of those memories has popped into my head.

In other news, it is so much more fun catching the train on the weekend. During the week the train is full of people going  to work, and the train is almost completely silent apart from the few people who play their Ipods far too loud. (Including a man in a suit with a soft spot for Beyonce). Today I caught the train into the city to go do some work for the Melbourne Writers Festival and the train was full of over-excited children, who were completely enamoured with the concept of train travel and who alerted everyone in the carriage whenever we passed another train.

I wish I got that excited about trains.

It’s been a good day though. Had breakfast with some of the gang that I used to work with, helped out proofing the program for the Writers Festival, and right now I’m listening to the soundtrack from Life On Mars, in preperation for heading out on the town with my friend Helen. (Incidentally, I’ve updated my happy list after carrying around my umbrella today)

Above all else though, this week is good for two reasons:

1. I’ve left the job of doom, and am slowly getting my sanity back.
2. My brother (who shall henceforth be known as St Lazarus of Lame), gave me the following DVD for my birthday, which was a month ago:

Now as I’m sure you’re overcome with amazement at the above trailer, let me just point out three things:

1. Mega Shark lept out of the water and ate a plane.
2. Mega Shark lept out of the water and ate the Golden Gate Bridge
3. I am on team Mega Shark. Quite frankly, the giant octopus is a wuss.

It is without a doubt the most hilariously bad movie I have ever seen. Huzzah!

Le Review: His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman (spoilers ahoy!)

I don’t know how, but I’d never heard of this trilogy until the movie The Golden Compass came out, and even then I didn’t pay much attention. It wasn’t until I was creating my fill in the gaps list (and someone at work recommended them to me) that I really looked into them. Set in parallel universes, it’s the coming of age story of Lyra Belacqua (I’m so infatuated with her name!) and Will Parry. It’s also a critique of organised religion, and (thanks Google!) an inversion of the epic poem Paradise Lost by John Milton.

While there were some bits I didn’t like,  on the whole I really enjoyed reading these books. The doomed lovers bit at the end just annoyed me, but I find all doomed lovers annoying. (This is probably more a reflection on me than the books.) Occasionally I found Pullman’s style a little grating and overly wordy, but to be fair, the scene where Lyra says goodbye to Pan when she sets off for the land of the dead made me bawl my eyes out so it did its job. (I was on the train coming home from work at the time. Embarassed much?)

After I’d finished reading the books I clicked around on some reviews on the interwebs, and found a lot of reviews blasting the books as Anti-Christian. I don’t think that’s true at all, I think the books are against organised religion, or at least the negative aspects of it, but I don’t think there’s any point in there where Pullman is trying to turn us all into atheists.

This morning I started reading Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. By the time I got to Flinders Street I thought I was on the London underground. If it wasn’t for the fact that I need to at least look like I’m doing work, I’d be reading it right now. Instead, I am eating speckles that I just bought at Haighs, and feeling so sad for this kid.

Le procrastination

You know why I love the 22nd of June? Basically its the Wednesday of 2009. It’s a  long slide down to summer from here my friends, and I for one am excited.

Thanks to everyone for the cheering up. This shady character I’ve dreamt up and I sat down and had a frank discussion, and I think we’re on the same page now. (Page 50, to be precise). Have decided to take the attitude that this writing caper is like doing one of those ridiculous jigsaw puzzles – start with the corner pieces and the outside pieces and worry about the five hundred pieces that look like sky later.

Have also discovered The Wire this week. How have I not seen this show before? I bet it was like Six Feet Under and the Sopranos and it was on every third Wednesday at 2am but only if you sit in a red armchair with a green cushion. Stupid Australian television.

I also started reading the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman as part of the Filling the Gaps project. I am really really enjoying them actually.  They’re kind of wordy in parts, but the religious side of it  is interesting, and all the mythology surrounding it (like the myth of Oedipus). I hadn’t ever heard of these books until The Golden Compass movie, which I didn’t watch due to the whole Nicole-Kidman-being-in-it-thing, and never  got round to reading the books. I have it on reliable authority that the movie is pretty good though, so I shall have to investigate. I will have  an awful lot of time on my hands this time next week. (Incidentally, I absolutely love the name Lyra. I’ve never gotten so worked up over a character’s name before!)

Finally, I present to you a video of one of my new favourite people. There is no greater joy in life than watching this man eat:

His predeliction for cravats is just an added delight really.

Le sad face.

It’s official. Writing sucks.

I’ve spent the last hour going through all the bits of writing that I’ve started and abandoned since starting this blog a year ago. Some bits bits are longer than others (over a hundred pages), some of them are only twenty or so, and some of them are only a line.

NONE OF THEM ARE WORKING. I have one awesome character, but no story. In my head he is sitting opposite me while I type this, with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a look of utter boredom on his face. Completely UNHELPFUL.

Clearly, this is a problem. It’s kind of like the wall in Run Fatboy Run, except less amusing, and I’m not Simon Pegg. My mission for this week is to somehow get around this roadblock.  Somehow.

Le oink.

Greetings and salutations from the newly crowned Swine Flu capital of the universe – if that doesn’t go on the Victorian license plates there is something wrong. Tonight at the supermarket I watched a man buy a crate of tissues, and last weekend at Doncaster there were people wandering around the shopping centre with masks on. In this humble hobbit’s opinion, the world has gone a bit mad. Although, am very amused at the suggestion that the best way to see if you have the swine flu is to set yourself on fire and see if you can smell bacon.

The interwebs have been tres amusing this week:

Thanks to my co-president in all important things Courtney for finding my new catchphrase for the week. Am going to take that to work tomorrow and see how many people I can annoy with it.

Thanks also to the Divine Miss Em, (who first alerted me to this), emailed me another fabulous distraction yesterday.  Just when I thought Monty Python couldn’t get any funnier…

And finally, because I am very proud of it, here is the first line of whatever it is that I’m writing now.

Lily stood alone in the lift, clutching her coffee with both hands as if it was the only thing keeping her alive (which, in her hungover state it probably was) and wondered if murder was still illegal if the victim was a complete bitch.

I’m really very pleased with that. So pleased in fact that I spent today watching the third season of The Mighty Boosh and the second season of Doctor Who and am now feeling very happy with the world.