I can’t believe there was I time I hadn’t eaten chocolate pizza. Also, Hawthorn won.

Ahhh Grand Final day. A most auspicious day in the calendar, and my religious holiday. There are few things better than Grand Final day, and I can say that even though the last time RIchmond was involved in a grand final the game was refereed by an especially well trained Triceratops.

My Dad’s team was in it today, and and he hasn’t been well of late I decided I would get on board the Hawthorn bandwagon, as the fact that they even made it has sparked him right up this week. Thankfully they won, which I attribute solely to the fact that for the first time in 25 years I wanted them to win. Seriously, you should all be grateful that I use my powers for good and not evil. I pointed this out to my Dad who a) didn’t give a rats arse and b) was so drunk he kept saying it was 1991.  V. amusing.

After the game (which I snuck out to watch from ACMI, as the only traffic  in there today were people from Fed  Square looking to use the bathrooms at half time) I went to see Just Macbeth with my lovely friend Em and her parents. I have never laughed so much in my life. Andy Griffiths adapted it for primary school kids and Bell Shakespeare performed it. Seriously, you haven’t seen Macbeth until the King starts singing Pussycat Dolls and the  role of MacDuff is played by a garden gnome. It was brilliant…I just wish something similar had been around when I was at school. I love all Shakespeare adaptations that are crazy out there and this one wins that competition.

Afterwards we went out to dinner and I was introduced to chocolate pizza. OH HOLY HELL it was fantastic. It was the greatest thing I have ever eaten…and now I am watching the Fratellis host Rage, which is amusing because a lot of these songs haven’t been played since the last time the Tigers won a granny. Day=good.

Five things I should probably not say

Top five things I need to stop saying, in order of the last time I said them

1.  Swallow a bag of cement and harden the fuck up.  (Not exactly ladylike, although does prove I am a Richmond supporter)

2. Oh shit (said this on Saturday. In the middle of my driving lesson. With my driving instructor who is also a eucharist minister. Oops.)

3.  Cockface (not that I should stop saying, possibly more that I should stop calling my brother it)

4.  What difference does it make, we’ll move in a year anyway (totally tempting fate)

5.  There is nothing wrong with drinking three cups of coffee a day.  (Actually, there is.)

This morning on the train I realised that I had a dream about the house I am moving into on Friday. Trouble is, I had said dream about fifteen years ago, and all I can remember about said dream is that I lived there. Which is now true.  In the words of that great 90s classic, “How bizarre, how bizarre.”

PS – 15K. Am going to finish this novel even if I end up with a lobottomy.

Book covers, titles and why I hate Australian Idol

Here’s a fun fact: I bought the book An Arsonist’s Guide to Writers’ Homes in New England based solely on the title.  When I paid for it the girl behind the counter told me that she had ordered several copies of the book for the store because she had liked the title so much, although I was the first person to actually buy a copy.  I still haven’t read it, but I am looking forward to it. It’s been sitting on my shelf like an unopened packet of Tim-Tams. Frankly I am showing remarkable restraint.

Another fun fact: I bought Candlelife based solely on the fact that I  thought that the cover was pretty.  I tend to do that quite a lot actually. Yep, this is me rebelling against that whole ‘Don’t Judge A Book By It’s  Cover’ saying. Really it should be ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover if it’s got a really good title, but if the cover and the title are average you should probably read the back’.

That’s a free piece of wisdom from me to you.  But then, it’s also worth remembering that although books have great covers and intriguing titles THEY CAN STILL END UP MAKING YOU WANT TO STAB YOURSELF IN THE EYE WITH A PENCIL THANK YOU VERY MUCH ATONEMENT.  But that’s a whole other thing.

Irs very hard to concentrate as my housemate is watching Australian Idol and I am obligated to pause every 30 seconds to offer an opinion (sometimes), or condemn someone to hell (most of the time. I firmly believe that capital punishment should be brought back for pedophiles, rapists and people who cover U2 songs badly.) As much as I hate the show it does entertain me when I find out my housemate has never heard of a singer…like Joe Cocker for example. Reminds me of when I had to explain to her who Ray Charles was, and ended up with a victory by explaining that Ray Charles was Yetta’s boyfriend in The Nanny. Oy.

Huzzah! This post has served to distract me from the fact that I am trying to create a character who hasn’t decided whether to hug you or break your neck and it’s turning out to be slightly more complicated that I first thought. On the bright side I get to go to bed and watch The Big Sleep with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall.  Huzzah for film noir and Humphrey Bogart.

Briony has entered…the dark side. (Also, David Tennant as a vampire=delightful thought)

Am slowly coming down from a Twilight/New 90210/Labyrinth induced psychosis. My views on Labyrinth are known (see below), my views on 90210 are simple (Me for two hours last night: “But where’s Dylan? Why is there no Dylan? I don’t understand?)

Twilight. Twilight, I fear, was wasted on me. And once again, it was my brain’s fault. The whole time I was reading the book (well, the last three days, I read fast) my brain was reading over my shoulder going

“Well that’s what Stephanie Meyer wrote, but I THINK that Edward looks like Johnny Depp/David Tennant/etc etc”

and me going “Shut up brain, I’m trying to read…dammit, now you’ve made me think about David Tennant as a vampire. Why would you do that?”

And my brain would be all “That got your attention. Now, I want to have a serious discussion with you about how much time you are spending playing Bejewelled on Facebook.”

And I would say “Bugger off, can’t you see I”m reading?”

That absolutely happened.  But I did enjoy the book…I haven’t felt irresistably seduced like the back cover said I would, but I blame that on my brain. Considering when I first heard of it I somehow assumed it was going to be some epic vampire romance set in the English countryside (Forks sounds English…like Mumbles in Wales), it certainly was different to how I imagined. Very amused to hear what my mother thinks of them, as she got the whole set for her birthday.

And now that I’ve procrastinated my way to bedtime, here are five songs I am completely addicted to, and suggest you download.

Dancing in the Dark – Tegan and Sara
I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked – Ida Marie
Long Way To The Top – Little Red
Pour Some Sugar on Me – Emm Gryner
Long Black Veil – The Chieftains and Mick Jagger

David Bowie is a strange and mesmerising man.

It goes to show you how not with it I am. Not only had I never heard of Stephanie Meyer before three months ago, I didn’t know there was a movie of Twilight until today. After reading  Courtney’s tweets regarding Twilight I caved and bought it this morning.  Will save it for the train, as am meant to be packing up the house in preperation for moving in two weeks. (Moving. Again. Eight years in a row. Do I get some sort of frequent mover discount?)

Last night I watched Labyrinth for the very first time, and enjoyed it immensely. Two things are being taken away from this viewing:

1. Many are the camera shots of David Bowie’s groin.

2. David Bowie = the Man with Thistledown Hair from Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell.

Now that is a movie I am looking forward to, although am slightly anxious that it’s taking so long. It’s a massive book to adapt to film, I just wish they would hurry up!

PS – Love love love Tegan and Sara’s version of Dancing in the Dark that they did for Like A Version. Is up there with Little Red’s version of Long Way to the Top and Ben Folds’ Such Great Heights.